awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
