Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize