Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
How's work?
Spinning.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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