respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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