Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
