Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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