She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
