the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Watching her eat just hurts me
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
