I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Randomize
