16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
It was confusing and full of hummus
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
