i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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