I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
