i just google imaged poop.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
