We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
