Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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