He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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