in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
