i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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