I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
