I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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