Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
