A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
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