So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Randomize
