Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
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