this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize