I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
