can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
