We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
