you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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