I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
