There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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