you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
