just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i've created a new STD.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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