Your face is a jimmy john
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I showed him my bush... on skype.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
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