oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
