True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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