I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I think my moral compass just broke
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
