I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
im six kinds of drunk right now
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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