Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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