I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
