i may or may not be watching the land before time
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize