Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
