So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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