I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
