He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Randomize
