It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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