THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
