I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
