We won't sleep together?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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