So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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