So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
