how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
