and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
