this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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