i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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