Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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