I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
