you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
