I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
