If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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