There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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