I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
