ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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