She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
