3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
