At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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