I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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