He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
