Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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