making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
